“Detective Fox loves work and alcohol …”
Boring
“… After going to AA, his sponsor, Chip, becomes the main suspect in his investigation of a missing child …”
 Well, this could be interesting.
“… Fox also starts to believe that people are disappearing up Chip's butt.”
Theeeeeeeere it is! 
Butt Boy from 2019 is the kind of movie you … watch … wondering what the hell am I watching, and at the end, the best answer you can come up with is “I think that was a movie.” 


The movie opens on the eve of Chip’s first prostate exam. He clearly hates his job, and his wife is likely cheating on him, calling her lover on the landline in the kitchen. After the butt doc examines him he tries to talk his wife into sticking her bad finger into his poop chute during lovemaking, and it's about as sexy as I made it out to be.


Chip soon becomes obsessed with making things disappear in his backdoor. It starts innocently enough with the TV remote and immediately moves on to their dog. Which I think is the very definition of “well that escalated quickly.” And then onto a small child, they cross paths with at the park. This explains why the movie is called Butt Boy. Cause a boy went missing in a dude’s butt. Chip is played by Tyler Cornack, who also wrote, directed, and even recorded the score for this movie. Also, Chip Gutchel is the name of his real-life godfather… and I have to wonder what all this says about Mr. Cornack’s real-life mental state. He's more obsessed with butts than Sir Mix A Lot, LL Cool J, and Tom Green combined. 


Early the next morning Chip feels remorse for losing their remote, wakes up in tears, and tries to hang himself in the garage. 


Fast forward 10 or so years, We’re then introduced to Detective Tyler Fox who is attending his first AA meeting, where he’s connected with his sponsor, Chip, who failed in his hanging attempt. Detective Fox is the stereotypical detective you see in movies attending AA. Leather coat, a sleeveless t-shirt, greasy hair, constantly smoking, still in love with his ex-wife, and he doesn’t play by your stupid rules.  


Chip loses a game of Sorry to his wife and kid and then has a long internal moral debate about sticking a blue pawn from the game up his booty. The perseverance award “disappears” at work just before bringing your kid to work day. Then he shoves one of his new balance shoes into his black hole. Then a ladel, and a few more unidentifiable items. His kid is bored in the office and wonders off to play hide and seek with the other kids and boss. 


Det. Fox is pulled off his case to investigate a missing kid. Turns out one of those kids at Chip’s office hid a little too well and is now missing.  Fox is interviewing everyone when he realizes his AA sponsor is now one of the suspects. He’s the IT guy and the surveillance footage has been erased. Plus Fox is mad at Chip for not exactly fulfilling his sponsor duties.


Fox follows Chip who has an animal carrier. Chip abandons it, and Fox finds it empty. This is when Fox puts together his theory and shares it with his chief. His theory he has about a white married male, who happens to be a father, living in the suburbs, who also happens to be his AA sponsor, who has been secretly running around, cramming objects, animals, and children up his asshole, and then he somehow digests them and he does this in sprees almost in a serial killer fashion.” I’m not sure how he found this out with so little evidence, but he is not immediately committed to the insane asylum so he’s free to butt-crack this case.


Chip invites Det Fox to his house for dinner and drama ensues. In fact, this movie works well as an intense crime drama anytime they step away from the butt stuff to let that happen. So for like 5 minutes of the movie tops, the rest of the time, it’s still played not as a comedy, but still as an intense crime drama, it just doesn’t work. After dinner, Fox follows Chip to the old power plant, where after a brief tussle he’s almost enveloped by a vortex emanating from Chip’s bunghole. This incident led him to lose all his evidence, followed by his badge and sobriety. 


But like any good fictional cop, losing his badge doesn’t deter him from pursuing this butt-muncher. You see it’s the young Marty’s birthday, and they’ve invited kids to play laser tag. Detective Fox is either determined to prevent another child from being sucked up Chip’s butt or doesn't understand that you’re not supposed to use real guns in laser tag. Fox finds himself on the losing end of the confrontation, however. Chip somehow spins this to make himself the hero.


Our real hero however now finds himself inside Chip’s butt, a set that looks a lot like a random cave from an alien planet on Star Trek the next generation, but a lot more … fecal. Which is exactly how I always pictured the inside of my butthole. He quickly finds the missing child, the dog, and everything else Chip has put in his pooper. This brings up some rather interesting logistical questions like, what do they eat? The movie answers this question. I am not. 


One month later, Chip is having a bad day, he's very sick and somehow he poops out his dog. And I hope “he poops out his dog” is a sentence I never have to say again in any context. The three remaining residents of Chip’s bowels are scheming to make their escape. 


Chip is accepting his award from the city or stage with the mayor and the chief of police when Fox decides it’s time and lights his zippo. Chip explodes, his entire body, not just his ass, over the dignitaries and spectators alike, but he’s saved the kid. 


Butt Boy is available streaming on FreeVee.