Tonight’s film flop available streaming on Freevee is “Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cotton Hell” from 2014. Let me try that again … “Here comes Peter Cotton, hell!!!”

So, a whiney college girl moves back home with her dad and stepmom because that acting thing isn't working well. At the same time, a house-sided rabbit tromps around town, eating a lot of mostly naked, vaguely goth chicks before eventually expanding its diet to men. But never a blonde woman because they don’t exist in this town for some reason. 

There is no explanation for this bald-faced, snaggled-toothed giant rabbit; it just shows up on the doorstep like an Amazon Prime subscribe and save purchase. 

Our protagonist is a bitter second-place runner-up for dog catcher of the year. This is the saddest excuse for a rivalry in a movie, action, or comedy category. 

The brains behind the movie were trying to get their money's worth with the green screen effects, as they couldn't even bother digging a rabbit hole. They just green-screened one in. At one point, an equestrian rides into a tree and gets green-screened in half while the horse stands there looking annoyed.

I theorize that the horrible-looking rabbit was originally to be a rat. When they realized they had no idea how to make this rat marionette walk, they decided to make it a rabbit since it looks like it hops instead. It's a sad horse skull on a frail, dried-out fur suit that only resembles a rabbit in that it has four legs, even if it only ever walks on two, and the feet don't face forward when it hops. They didn't even give it long ears, fluffy cotton tail, or creme nougat center. It could be the mummified corpse of a rabbit made into a macabre marionette inserted in via green screen. I genuinely wonder about the mental health of the characters in this movie  when they scream “oh no a giant rabbit!” because this thing looks so little like a rabbit I have no idea how they came to that conclusion.

Daddy makes our failed actress get a job, so she tries to fail at that, but the requirements to be a dog catcher are that you can wear a hat, and her ears hold up her hat. So she gets the job, much to her dismay.

The town's mayor is a slacker corporate, yuppie stoner dude, which, at least for this movie, explains away the government's inaction on the monster.  Also, I assume there's some confusion because he keeps calling it easter day instead of just easter like he is some sort of alien pretending to be human but needing help understanding the concept.That’s my head cannon anyway.

The runner-up dog catcher of the year is crushing on the new coworker/failed actress. It's a nice change of pace from the brunette bunny bites. Seriously, eight busty brunettes who never interact with anyone else in the movie get eaten before anyone notices anything wrong. 

For whatever reason, runner-up dog catcher lines are very weirdly edited. His mic was picking up background train noise, and they only edited some of that excess noise out when he wasn't talking. Like they noticed it was a problem, but were only going to make a half-ass effort to fix it. And the beaster bunny, I can understand why they didn’t make it shriek like godzilla, but it also stomps around town silently.  How bad does it have to be when I'm talking about the audio editing of a movie?

The beaster bunny is defeated when our enterprising new dog catcher … I’m sorry, make a “dog catcher in the rye” dresses up her runner-up coworker as a carrot with visible staples in the hat and shoots the big ass bunny with a gun—no one thought about using a gun to. kill this thing … in America. No one used a gun because bugs changed the sign to say duck season. That’s the least believable part of this movie, 50 ft rabbit. fine. No guns are implausible. 

The credits list the Snygg Brothers as writer, director, producer, and cinematographer, and as a general rule, the more roles listed for one name in the credits, the worse it is.